WHYYYYYYYYY?!?!
Crafted by General Mills—makers of such essential starts to a healthy day as Cookie Crisp and Reese’s Puffs—Ice Cream Cones Cereal was yet another attempt to blur the lines between breakfast and dessert in the form of “sweetened cereal scoops with crunchy cones.” The “scoops” (chocolate or vanilla) were just more of the Kix-derived, magically amorphous puffs that could taste like anything from peanut butter to whatever Fruit Brute was supposed to be, but the sugar-coated waffle-cone pieces were a reasonable (and delicious) facsimile of the real thing, especially when eaten right out of the box. Unfortunately, not enough parents were conned into buying it, as Ice Cream Cones disappeared almost as quickly as it debuted—surprising, considering its nonstop after-school marketing campaign, which featured an affable animated fellow roaming the neighborhood on his bike, singing, “My name’s Ice Cream Jones and I’m delivering my ice-cream cones / New ice-cream cereal for breakfast, with the great taste of ice-cream cones!” When the cereal was briefly reintroduced in 2003 to commemorate the 100th anniversary of the ice-cream cone—sure, why not?—it came in a strange chocolate-chip flavor, and without its rhyming-challenged pusherman.